I had posted THIS conversation with Ash to FaceBook, and it lead to a friend joking that Ash aught to marry her daughter and have brilliant children who like to do lots and lots of homework. That lead to my noting that he does aspire to find his “love match”, get married and become a Daddy when he grows up. That lead to the following comment of hers, which just made my day:
“As amazing and awesome as he is, how could he not aspire to that?!?!?! I, for one, would be honored if, someday, someone so incredible chose to pursue my daughter… and I hope I’m raising her to understand that she should be too! ”
What mother wouldn’t love hearing that about her son? Well….ok, what mother who doesn’t want to keep her son a little boy following close at her heels forever, whether or not he’s capable of more, wouldn’t want to hear it? (Switch to the cliché-for-a-reason of overprotective Daddies and their little girls, if you like.) And of course, I’m not just any Mommy, and Ash isn’t just any son. Sadly, it is also probably relevant to note — in case you didn’t infer it from how the quote was written — that the friend’s daughter in question is “just any”, in the sense that she is neuro-typical. It already hit me hard when romantic prospects were casually laughed about in only the best-natured of ways, when the future partner for Ash that was speculated about between glompings was also a special-needs child. There is a whole ‘nother edge to it when you’re hearing it like this….when you’re hearing it from someone who knows that normally, eventually, how cute (in more than one respect) Ash is, is likely to be overshadowed by how different he is, how challenging things are for and with him. I mean, it’s only natural for me to feel that he deserves for the whole world to love him, and that such will be true even when it comes to romantic love (if it turns out that that’s indeed in his matured nature, and in his future — a doubly loaded question with Autism). I’m me, though, and we’ve been over that. I also know, though, that it’s not in everyone’s nature. In fact, it’s not in a LOT of people’s natures, especially if it’s not already more than the typical concern for their own children.
So thank you, Julia. Thank you for not being most people, and for trying to raise your daughter to not be most people. The world really can’t get enough of people like you, because the world really does have a lot of people….overlooked, misunderstood people….as incredible as my son.