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Ash is significantly if somewhat inconsistently disabled. He is one of four special education students integrated into his kindergarten classroom, and he is generally well-liked there, by those who know him. In the community of Ash’s elementary school, however, he has a reputation that precedes him. Everyone seems to know about him. The staff. The students. Their parents. They talk about him, sometimes with eyes a little too wide. They don’t talk about how cute he is, or how friendly he is, or how it’s hard not to smile around him because he finds everything excitingly fascinating and entertaining. Those are all things we see as intrinsic to Ash’s nature, of course, but they aren’t exactly all that sets him apart in a crowd. No, they talk about what he does, that they’d….y’know….they’d heard about it, but it’s different to see it first hand, if you’re not used to it. When we are there and they realize who we are, who HE is, we hear sidelong whispers and slightly embarrassed questions along the lines of, “Isn’t he the one who…?”
Ash is the kid…
…who can read anything.
We don’t even usually hear that followed by, “…even though…” Hot damn, our child once needed so much aid support during a holiday celebration at school that we literally could not SEE him past the bodies of the aids when we looked to find him, and yet it is one of his ABILITIES which is the subject of gossip! The parent of Neuro-Typical R- in his class first heard about Ash during parent-teacher conference, when they were told, “R- actually reads very well for his age. I mean, not as well as Ash, but…”
I can’t tell you how much I love this.
I love what it says (that we already knew) about him. I love that it sets us up to be able to brag like any other proud parent without it being viewed condescendingly as overcompensation (always a slap in the face of how we instinctively look at our son) – because it is a strength respected by parents and admired by children of that age, that is making the first impression. I love what it says about the school (well, I did fight to get him into their program for a reason). I love that perhaps long before Ash transitions out of this school (which goes through the 8th grade), we can stop being surprised, at least for a while, when it is this kind of thing I can report.
That’s the thing. We’re not surprised when Ash proves himself fabulous, and yet, we can’t help but be at least somewhat surprised, sometimes, when he doesn’t have to prove himself. I am incredibly, incredibly proud of my child. I am also realistic about him. Similarly, as piercing as my mama-warrior battle cry is when I go to kick reality’s ass….I’m also realistic about reality, and the number of asses it has. As much as I believe we need to nourish all the reasons we are so lucky in this situation, I also can’t take for granted the fact that some of it is luck. The intro to the post was written in a certain way to lead you on, and to lead you to the kind of exalted, triumphant, self-righteous relief we catch ourselves feeling. It probably worked, on at least most of you, and that’s because regardless of what you know about Ash, what you know about society is that, too often, it doesn’t matter what an incredible person someone is.
Well I’m raising my can-o-consciousness to incredible people, and the incredible people who can recognize them, in whatever form they might take. Here — *clink* — especially, is to my incredible little person, and to the fact that he could read this whole dang thing. At the end, he’d probably say, “Good job.”
Long before Ash could read the name tag of every teacher at school, he was surrounding himself....quite literally....with books at home.
About FroggyPrinceMom
wicked woman. I was about ready to go up in arms here:-p
There is method to my madness.
“Similarly, as piercing as my mama-warrior battle cry is when I go to kick reality’s ass….I’m also realistic about reality, and the number of asses it has” – I SO want to quote you on that.
Go ahead. I don’t mind credited quotes at all. If ever I am to take over the world, it will be one thoughtful giggle at a time.
You go Mama!! No one can deny his amazing talent! So cool that he has the rep! And you got me! Not so much that I thought it was something derogatory but that I was simply curious as to where you could be going with this! Very clever writing style, mom. Beautifully written! (My son has the same book – “That’s Not my Dinosaur!” – he could read by age 2 also so I know how you feel!).
Karen´s last [type] ..It’s Been Cloudy- with a Chance of Progress…Autism’s Moments of Clear Blue Sky
Thank you, sweetie.
There’s a whole “That’s not my…” series of books. Ash’s original Speech Therapist through Early Intervention had the train and kitten ones. Ash, naturally, had the dragon one. It disintegrated by the time he was done with it. Given its nature, I couldn’t just keep repairing it like his first ABC book, which is still stashed in a closet, more packing tape than actual book at this point.
Ash’s early reading skills can be partially attributed to his eidetic memory, partially to the nurture of two rather lit-geek-ish parents, and partially to a few useful genes passed on from the aforementioned bibliophiles, myself in particular. I also started reading at age two, but my reading comprehension was on track with my reading skills. (Whereas Ash’s reading comprehension, while better than his language processing issues generally allow him to express, is not as advanced as his base reading skills — in part because of his inability to relate to much of the he-could-read-it material because of his developmental delays, and in part because of actual comprehension issues, coming back around again to his processing challenges.) I think I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade when I first read Tolkein’s “The Hobbit”. My 5th grade book report was on an unabridged tome of Dumas’ “The Three Muskateers” ….and so it went on from there. So ok, yeah, I also get a kick out of Ash having this particular reputation because reading skill, in and of itself, is something I groove on.
LOVE this!
Through our recent round of evals with Bear I keep hearing “did you know he already knows all his colors and letters?!” and stuff like omg, he can already draw this kind of line and that kind of thing and is way ahead for drawing that other thing. Made me feel sooo much better about the fact we were there for them to pick apart his delays and disabilities.
For us it was all all about cars and trucks and trains. That’s all he cares about (and I couldn’t care less), so we use vehicle themed puzzles and books to introduce other concepts. It appears to be working : )
Yeah, I was one of those precocious readers, too, taught myself to read at 4, reading at a 10th grade level by 3rd grade… Unfortunately, my son on the autism spectrum isn’t of the hyper-lexic flavor. He reads, but it took him a long time to ‘get it” and crack the code. Because of his language processing issues, he is just not yet reading for pleasure, and his comprehension further lags behind his technical reading skills. what was killing me was that until recently Jake’s “typical” twin brother didn’t like to read & thought it “boring” (ice pick to the heart, there). Fortunately we have turned a corner there, and he’s now reading an old childhood favorite series ( & I wrote a post about it “Return to Prydain).
I look forward to the time when Jake, too can really read fluently. And I rejoice in your son having this wonderful skill and the way this positive reputation eases his way in school. Thank you for sharing this with us, here.
Varda (SquashedMom)´s last [type] ..T is for Television
awesome job, im envious at this time